Trump's war on history

PM Carpenter

Last night I ran across a link to a Politico piece on Donald Trump’s 2018 Mount Vernon visit along with wife Melania, French president Emmanuel Macron and his wife, Brigette, looking like a hostage waiting for the rescue helicopter to arrive.

I gather Trump’s little trip did not go well. Tour guide Doug Bradburn, Mt. Vernon’s CEO and a former history professor, later told “associates” that the visit was “truly bizarre.”

Dr. Bradburn “was desperately trying to get him interested” in George Washington’s home, reported Politico, but Trump was “quickly bored.” There was however this exception to his tedium: “What Trump was really the most excited about,” said a clued-in source, was if the nation’s founding father was “really rich.”

He was. Nonetheless, Donald cut George no slack when it came to the ultimate rarity of something the visitor really did know about — branding. Observed Trump about Washington, “If he was smart, he would’ve put his name” on Mt. Vernon. “You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you,” he continued.

In the smog of Trump’s mind, publicly memorable would be something along the line of “Washington Tower”; wholly forgotten would be the general’s outwitting the world’s most powerful military empire, establishing the U.S. presidency’s fundamentals, and other minor acts.

Nor was Trump impressed by what he saw of Washington’s home. Sources recounted his architectural critique, which Politico repeated: “The rooms were too small, the staircases too narrow, and he even spotted some unevenness in the floorboards. He could have built the place better, he said, and for less money.”

Always better — in fact, the best — and always money. They just don’t come any shallower than Donald J. Trump.

The good doctor Bradburn told “several people” that the French president and First Lady “were far more knowledgeable about the history of the property than [Trump],” though that assessment could mean they knew G.W. lived there, that it was built on land, and that brass, glass and steel were not yet all the rage.

The U.S. Marine Band’s webpage says its “mission is to provide music” for the likes of you-know-who. This being the case, I suggest the band learn that catchy little tune, “Don’t Know Much About History” — and play it surreptitiously on every sad, pathetic occasion.

Politico noted that Trump “doesn’t read much” about the past and that he said he’d “never read a presidential biography — and had no plans to do so.” Much was charitable beyond measure; no plans, superfluous. A “person close to the White House” said “his supporters don’t care [that’s he’s historically ignorant], and if anything they enjoy the fact that the liberal snobs are upset.”

More like deeply worried, but definitely worried and upset about his supporters’ ignorance, as well as way too many others. One survey “found that just four in 10 Americans [could] pass the country’s citizenship exam” — a real toughie, with questions such as “Who did the United States fight during World War II?” and “What is one right granted under the First Amendment to the Constitution?”

Also quite upset about ribald news stories of Trump’s worrisome visit was the Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association. In a statement it protested that “third-party accounts of the Trump-Macron visit … do not properly convey the tone and context in which [Trump’s comments] were delivered.” This, the ladies protested? They should have been thankful.

But happy am I to convey the following news.

There was one other item that impressed Trump during his Mt. Vernon visit, one that “really excited him”: George Washington’s bed. Although the visitor “is infamously picky about where he sleeps,” wrote Politico, he “felt out the bedpost and told the Macrons and Bradburn that he approved.”

This was the bed on which Washington lay on 14 December 1799, succumbing, at last, to a throat infection (and with today’s Bobby Jr.-CDC help, he still would have succumbed). “A good bed to die in,” said Trump.

What delighted was this thought: America needs a letter-writing campaign, Attn: White House Scheduler — Please book another Mt. Vernon visit in which Donald stays the night in George’s bed.

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